A being from another world is visiting our planet, and of course they want to know all about cycling – but how would you concisely explain The Best Sport On Earth to them?

Here on Planet Earth we all know precisely what cycling is, but there’s a chance that other beings from distant worlds may not have come across it before.

We recently asked Cycling Weekly readers to tell us how they would describe cycling to a visitor from another planet. So, suspend your disbelief for a moment and enjoy this selection of answers, brought to you in association with Decathlon.

An alien has landed from another planet. How would you describe cycling to them? Let us know in the comment box below.

I spend my time obsessively tweaking frail machines to near-perfection, then I balance on them for hours to reveal the shortcomings in both the machines and myself.
Alan Bates

A bio-mechanical propulsion system with minimal crash protection that is despised by many petro-chemical propulsion users.
Dave Doohan

If he had to ask he wouldn’t get it, just keep riding past the green dude!
Karl Bilton

>>> Ever pushed yourself beyond your limit on a bike? You’re not alone

Two round things joined together with a pedestal at the top powered by the legs of a sweaty human dressed in tight clothing.
Chris Doyle

A human-powered machine designed for capturing Strava kudos. (Surely even aliens know about Strava).
Tim Peatman

It seems unlikely that they’d speak English. Not many planets have an England. I’m not entirely convinced a species capable of interstellar flight would need to be taught about cycling – the technology involved in cycling is probably somewhat simpler – but either way, it’s probably simpler to just show them than try to describe it.
Thomas Willingham

CW-Decathlon-sponsorship-2

Two wheels and a chain powered by physical force… 50 years ago it was a cheap means of transport, now used by many as a method of exhibiting one’s peacock feathers while utilising technology trickled down from athletes.
Paul Morris

Push your body so hard you can hardly stand up let alone walk. Sleep. Get up and do it all again for three weeks until your brain doesn’t even know what day it is… but it’s fun!
Norman Bradbury

A way of travelling between two places. As easy as walking but you can travel much further and faster by using a circular motion of your legs and feet to propel a light, thin chair on two big wheels.
Mark Middleton

Don’t park your saucer in the cycle lane please. And watch you don’t door someone when you open the hatch.
Dava Jonah

“It’s similar to pod racing…”
Jon Elliott

Take me to your leader

Find a big hill, then say “Get on and I’ll push you down. You’ll figure it all out by the time you get to the bottom”.
Gaz Matt

The art of staying upright between two spinning discs while moving rapidly in a forward direction.
Stuart Sheriff

>>> What will be the next big innovations in cycling?

It’s the only sporting activity where you deliberately go out to hurt yourself.
Steve Hislop

No need; cycling is a universal activity. They would just know.
Malcolm Wade

Roundy roundy, leggy leggy, uppy downy, very toughy. If anyone can improve on that, suggestions are welcome.
Stephen Mander

I would ask if there is room in its UFO for Donald Trump.
Ned Potter