In danger of having a one in, one out rule imposed? Here are some ready made justifications you can roll out before your bikes do exactly that...

Walking into the home of a bike hoarding cyclist can cause anyone to catch their breath – fellow bike lovers admiring the beauty, and non-cyclists pausing to re-evaluate the sanity of the individual.

Over time, and without the possession of a garage (simply not safe these days, anyway), the home can begin to look like a jungle of steel and aluminium – once essential components making homes on the branches of leather coated handlebars and on upturned saddles.

The once joyous N+1 rule (ideal number of bikes is always the quantity you have, +1) can leave cyclists tortured when homes reach capacity, and a one in, one out law comes into enforcement.

Don’t let it happen to you. Here are some handy reasons to help you explain the need to keep all those extra bikes…

Couldn’t DO bike riding without them

Specialized Red Hook

Can’t ride track without a (limited edition Specialized Allez Sprint) track bike

This is the standard ‘first port of call’. Move on to the others if it fails.

You need a road bike. And then a winter version, so the ‘precious’ doesn’t get ruined. You can’t race time trials without a TT bike, ‘cross without a cyclocross bike, track without a track bike and you need a shopper with a hub gear and luggage for errands and commuting.

Just don’t let anyone on the receiving end find out about the elusive adventure bike which can tick off at least three of those.

There’s history in every frame

Steve Bauer testing the strength of carbon. Credit: Graham Watson

Maybe it’s a Look KG86 which heralds back to the first ever usable carbon tubes, or a Cervélo Soloist which was aero before anyone else really knew how to slice through the air.

>>> The top 10 revolutionary road bikes that changed the world of cycling

These bikes are worthy of a museum. You’re just safeguarding them whilst the museum owners set about tracking you down.

Sentimental value

C’mon, don’t make me get rid of the Chopper!

The first adult bike, the one which revived you from couch potato to segment slayer. Or perhaps it’s your first race bike, the one which introduced you to the heady mix of adrenaline tinged with a little edge of fear, all to be replaced by endorphins at the finish line.

Parting with a bike which carries sentimental value would take away a little part of your soul. And no one wants that (do they?)

They’ll be worth money one day

Davis Phinney (Watson) and a cash register (Kroton/CC)

When the velocipede museum gets in touch. Not for the Colnago Master you’ve got hidden in the now defunct airing cupboard – but for the bike that started the career of the triple Olympic legend…. (you can wake up, now).

Need to keep the one hanging on your wall sparkly

Image: Hiplok

Image: Hiplok

With all these fancy wall hanging bike storage devices around, you can turn bikes into art. And that art needs to be clean and sparkly. So you’ll be needing spares to actually ride.

You need a turbo bike

Everyone needs a bike for the turbo trainer

You see, to avoid wearing out the tyres, you need to fit a turbo tyre. And it would be a massive faff to swap tyres between indoor and outdoor rides. Plus, having a dedicated bike set up on the turbo trainer means it’s ready to go at all times – and it’s comparatively much cheaper than forking out for a gym membership or buying an exercise bike.

Bikes are excellent clothes dryers

Bikes > dryers

It’s almost like handlebars where MEANT for hanging base layers and bib shorts from. If that’s not a space saver, we don’t know what is.

You don’t want to get involved in ‘chuck away culture’

The best bike is in there somewhere

It’s awful, this nasty landfill culture we live in these days. When something isn’t ‘perfect’ people just throw it away, and buy a new one. Well – you’re taking a stand. You just keep the old one, and buy a new one as well. But you’ve every intention of making do and mending the retired bikes – they’re ALL your next commuter.

Everyone needs a bike for two…

Dawes Galaxy Twin 2017 Tandem Bike

Dawes Galaxy Twin 2017 Tandem Bike

With all of those brilliantly explained justifications – surely your fellow homie is completely convinced. So much so, it’s time you invested in a NEW bike, which you can ride together.