We're not sure the UCI would approve

Obviously we love the Tour but some people just don’t see the appeal of watching the riders cycle for four hours just to see the stage decided in last 100 metres… weirdos.

That’s why Reddit user killtheyolo posited the question “You can add one rule to the Tour de France to make it more exciting. What is it?”.

Reddit uses a ranking system that draws attention to the most popular posts. Killtheyolo’s reached the front page, making it one of the most popular on the site. As it stands it has received over 4,500 responses and we have skimmed off the best for you to read here.

This person who just loves teamwork

Reddit comment quiet dove tandem

“The whole team has to ride a single tandem

And this one who made their idea even better

Brian official reply to Quiet DOve tandem

“But they still have to climb forward on the tandem and advance to the first position to win”

This person who believes the riders should perform a community service

reddit comment youdoubledarewhy rickshaw

“The bicycle is now attached to a rickshaw. Competitors must stop and pick up tourists along the way”

Lance back in the Tour?

Reddit comment Jamie A380 lance

“Have two races, one from start to finish and the other from finish to start. Give every participant a lance”

Reddit lance

What on Earth is a ‘military-grade’ hallucinogen?

Reddit comment jerkjenkins

“A bucket of mystery pills. Every day, each racer eats one. Some are slow-action, some are fast-acting. Some are uppers, some are downers. Some are military-grade hallucinogens. Hell, some are just plain-old Viagra.

The Tour-de-France becomes a struggle against your competitors, yourself, and the blue goblin trying to force-feed you spiders”

Squeeeeenis is short and to the point

Reddit comment squeenis

Unicycles

This person who needs a geography lesson

Reddit comments orlin

“The Running of the Bulls will now be held on the same day, on the same route. Both Spaniards and Bulls will now accompany the cyclists”

French stereotypes were in abundance

hank mood reddit comment baguette

“Bikers in teams, each member waits in a spot of the track. The previous biker has to pass a baguette to the next so he can start his part of the track.

Baguette can’t fall on the ground”

Reddit baguette

This is just plain evil

Reddit comment born2 laxatives

“Every rider has to drink five cups of coffee, eat five McDonald’s double cheeseburgers, and take five Ex-Lax tablets at the start of the race. At the end there’s a single toilet”

This person has thought this through

reddit comment tryagainbragg paintball

“Every cyclist is given a single shot paintball gun with a single ball in the chamber, and if you are hit by a paintball you are out.

It’ll create this dilemma of when to use your gun, and how much time do you practice marksmanship vs cycling? Also the competitors will cycle much more erratically around each other as they try to become a difficult target for opponents to hit. Should be fun to watch”

Erm… Why?

reddit comment redpart cranberry juice

“All water must be switched with cranberry juice

reddit cranberry

“You got like three feet of air that time”

reddit comment gokism ramps

“Home made ramps like kids make for bike jumps”

Definitely wouldn’t get annoying

Reddit comment krustofski benny hill

“The Benny Hill theme must be played, on loop, through loudspeakers, and on all television broadcasts, continuously for the entire thing”

And our hands down favourite

reddit comment pool noodle bernard sanders
“One cyclist out of every team gets a pool noodle, which he may use to sabotage the competition in any way he sees fit.

Think about how awesome it would be to see a bunch of grown men with their serious game faces on, participating in one of the most grueling tests of endurance and fortitude in all of sports, but also a few assholes mixed in just beating the shit out of people with pool noodles.

It would be perfect.”

Pool noodle cyclist

 

You can view the full thread here

  • J1

    Ok, who asked the internet?

    I did like the Trek sticky baguette though.

  • J1

    Reddit is the front page of the internet!

  • Peter J Kott

    A completely pointless article lacking in any wit, charm or insight.

  • TrevorHoldsworth

    Was that rider holding a sticky baguette? Fine him! But then again, if cycling is his bread and butter…

  • Neilo

    Yes. They just added “Weekly” to the name. It might as well have been a completely different publication from this though. At any rate, Cycling Weekly has hit rock bottom with this article.

  • FPCyclist

    Quo vadis?

  • David Bassett

    But surely they have just added the Weekly bit on to the end of the title. They made such a song and dance about taking it back to the good old days last year sometime. I thought it was the same. Out of the same stable by any means.
    I remember people saying putting it up to 5p would kill it off.

  • Neilo

    Yup. Cycling. That was a great magazine.

  • David Bassett

    Well after many many years of reading Cycling (the comic) you have just scraped the abserlute bottom of the barrel.

  • Andrew

    No, it doesn’t. It’s a 250 year old English joke – “tandem” is just the Latin for ‘at length’.

  • Arezzo

    “Tandem” means for two riders.

  • Stef

    What is Reditt? And what has this stuff got to do with cycling?

  • David Sundheim

    All I want to change is adding a Gray Jersey competition for the oldest rider.