This is a story that officially started while I was flying through the air. I’d just clipped the back-end of a medium-sized deer that had bounded into the path of my bicycle, and now I was airborne, en route to a violent meeting with the floor.
How long does it take to fall off a bike? One second? Two maybe? Three at push? However fleeting the flight, I had somehow found the time to engage myself in a lively discussion about the potential ramifications of a bad landing.
This was either going to end in a) scuffs, b) stitches or c) broken bones
I couldn’t help but dwell on the latter. Concerningly, not because of the pain element, but because broken bones require rest. And how exactly is life supposed to continue if I’m unable to ride my bike? I don’t do rest; I can’t do rest.
Strava recently sent me a notification, congratulating me on '400 uninterrupted weeks of training'. Instead of making me feel proud and accomplished, I felt a little uncomfortable – even before the crash, I’d wondered if I might have become somewhat of a slave to the sport. An exercise addict, even.
Touchdown was anything but smooth. A whirlwind of blood, dust and bad language tumbled down the trail. I’ve never witnessed such a comprehensive shredding of finery. My best shorts and jersey were ripped to pieces and my helmet – although having done a fine job of keeping me conscious – now sported a large crater. But all I could think about was whether or not the injuries I’d sustained would lead to the unthinkable – time off the bike.
Hobbling into A&E, I was subsequently told by a nurse that I’d either fractured or badly bruised my pelvis. Either way, depending on severity, the protocol is to spend three to 12 weeks resting. No exercise, no nothing.
He might as well have taken a knife to my heart, pulled down my carefully organised tapestry to day-to-day life.
“Three weeks?! And just what the hell do you expect me to do during these ‘three weeks’?”
As an ultra endurance rider, Steve is in a high-risk group for exercise addiction
A&E nurses rarely have the skill or capacity to offer advice to unhinged cycling addicts, so I decided to pose the question to Dr Josephine Perry, a sports psychologist who is well-read on this surprisingly common affliction. And it is an affliction.
“A lot of the time, we kind of joke about exercise addiction. I’ve even done a race where they had ‘running addict’ all over the medals, and it made me cringe inside because you’re making a badge of honour out of something that’s actually really harmful for many people,” Dr Perry stressed.
“We find exercise addiction worse in endurance sports. And the longer that you are going in your sport, the more likely you are to have that level of addiction,” she continued.
This rang alarm bells. I present an ultra-endurance podcast called 'Going Long'. I’m all about, well, going long.
“I did some research about 10 years ago now, and found that about 30 to 40% of ultra-endurance athletes showed levels of exercise addiction.”
So here I was: a statistic. But exercise addiction isn’t a one-size-fits-all ailment. For some it manifests as a part of an underlying eating disorder while others are so highly focused on their training that it becomes life-defining.
“I’ve known people that will run on stress fractures because they have to do a certain amount of mileage every week, even though it’s actually going to mean they’re not able to perform at a level that they want.” Dr Perry told me. “There will also be lots of people with things like RED-S, where exercise is a way of purging calories. And so actually, what’s often under there is an eating disorder.”
For me though, exercise is rewarded not by ticking off training sessions. Nor is it about purging calories, although the thought of jettisoning the day’s indulgences will always hold some appeal.
I ride, run and row because the day feels incomplete without having partaken of some form of exercise. It’s headspace, a habit, an addictive hit of dopamine. Take that away and, well, I’ll ask the question again: “what the hell am I supposed to do for three weeks?”
“I would find something else you can do to move safely. Some people will almost use it as a challenge of, well, actually, I’ll look at my gym and see what else is on offer, Dr Perry suggests.
“If you’re completely out of action, however, a lot of athletes I’ll get studying, so they have something else. I know quite a few actually who do things like cookery courses when they have their months off recovery after world championships and stuff. The main thing is to do things intentionally to fill that space.”
While I’m certainly not recovering from any world championships, I do have a month living and working in Tenerife planned for next January. So what will I be doing for the next three (to 12!) weeks?
Learning Spanish, apparently. And possibly, maybe, definitely planning an Everesting attempt on Mount Teide. I suppose some addictions are easier to manage than others.
How to combat exercise addiction
Steve's outlook on exercise addiction might be lighthearted, but it is an issue that can seriously impact lives. Cycling Weekly published an in-depth look at exercise addiction, how to spot it and tips for addressing it here. Below, Dr Josephine Perry offers some advice on those dealing with exercise addiction.
Develop other identities Don’t let being a cyclist, runner or athlete become your entire identity. Perry recommends developing other interests and roles so you have something to fall back on when sport is taken away.
Learn to be flexible Perfectionism and rigid thinking can make it difficult to adapt when injury or circumstances prevent training. The aim is to become more mentally flexible and adaptable.
Find another way to move If you’re injured, look for forms of exercise or movement that are safe for your injury. I have dusted off my jigsaw with a view to rekindling my love of woodwork. One door closes…
Find another goal Invariably we’re training towards a goal – having no target at all can leave a big void. Replace the physical goal with something else to work towards – studying, learning a skill, or another challenge.
Fill the space deliberately If training normally occupies several hours of your week, don't simply leave a hole where it used to be. Use that time intentionally.
Remember what exercise gives you For many athletes, exercise isn't just about performance. It regulates stress and emotions. When injury takes it away, you need to find alternative ways to manage that stress – whether that's movement, reading, baking or seeing friends.