1. This retro espresso cup set
If anything, it creates a perfect excuse for you to impress your friends with your knowledge of 80s cycling teams.
2. Anything made by Assos or Rapha etc.
Because a bib shorts and jacket combo that costs near enough £400 can’t not be good…right?
3. A power meter
Sure, it’d be nice to know how many Watts you put out when you PB’d Box Hill the other day, or what your power to weight ratio actually is. But is it worth dropping £1k for? Probably.
4. This massive €170 Campagnolo corkscrew
This really doesn’t have anything to do with cycling whatsoever. But that shouldn’t mean you can’t let everyone know how much you love cycling while you crack open a bottle of vino at a dinner party with your giant corkscrew.
5. 53/39 chainrings
Is there anything more pro? There’s nothing necessary about struggling up a hill on a Sunday club ride on a 39 chainring, but let’s not let a thing like necessity or creaking knees get in the way.
Read more: Is it the end for the 34t chainring?
6. These personalised frame stickers
The cycling equivalent of having your mum sew your name into your underwear. But how else will everyone know who the owner is of that bitchin’ bike?
7. Electronic gears
As ably explained here. But think of the crisp shifting…
- SRAM Red eTap groupset at Chain Reaction Cycles from £1804.99
- SRAM Red eTap shifters, deraillieurs and battery only from Wiggle from £1182.16
- Shimano Dura-Ace R9100 Di2 groupset at Wiggle from £1298.99
- Buy now: Shimano Dura-Ace R9150 Di2 Groupset at Wiggle from £2,249.99
- Shimano Dura-Ace R9150 Di2 11 Speed Groupset at Chain Reaction Cycles for $3361.49 (US)
8. Deep section wheels
Why spend £1k or more to potentially get blown off the road by a crosswind? Because you’ll look bloody fantastic, that’s why.
9. The latest version of a bike you already own
It’s got an integrated bar and stem and is 10 grams lighter. You had me at integrated.
10. An aero helmet and/or speedsuit
Probably not as comfortable, probably not as good pockets for storing your stuff, but come on, think of the Watt saving.
11. Strava premium
What really is a suffer score and why do I need to know it? Both questions you should erase from your mind as you enter your credit card number and prepare to obsess over your self-set yearly mileage target.