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1. "I think my brake might be rubbing"
Translation: "I haven't been doing enough training, please don't drop me"
2. "I'm having a rest day"
Translation: "I just couldn't be bothered"
3. "I could really do with a lighter bike"
Translation: "I need to eat less cake"
4. "How's your training been going?"
Translation: "I really hope I can keep up with you"
5. "Yeah, my training's been going OK, but still feel like there's more to come"
Translation: "I'm absolutely flying and am going to drop you immediately"
6. "My legs aren't feeling too good this morning"
Translation: "I was out on the beers last night and would really prefer to be in bed"
7. "I got a flat at just the wrong moment"
Translation: "I didn't have the legs and got dropped like a stone"
8. "I don't really take my training seriously, I just try to enjoy riding my bike"
Translation: "I've got a training plan written out for the next three years and will be following it religiously"
9. "No, this tan is completely natural"
Translation: "I was up till 2am making sure the fake tan was applied evenly"
10. "I'm really more of a rouleur"
Translation: "I'm carrying a few extra pounds and I'm sorry if I get dropped at the first hill"
11. "I'm just treating this as a training race"
Translation: "When I get dropped in the neutralised section, at least I've got an excuse"
This article was updated on October 23, 2017
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