I'm not into cake stops - but - I made an exception to rate five British delicacies in one ride

Of all the cakes named after places in the north-west of England, which is the tastiest? Simon Warren sets out to sample them all in a single epic ride

Simon Warren tucks into a cake
(Image credit: Andy Jones for Future)

As a general rule, I don’t stop for cake. I’ve nothing against it, but I don’t drink coffee and I don’t have time for leisurely cafe rides – if my family found out I was sitting around chatting and scoffing cake on a Sunday morning, there would be hell to pay. OK, it’s the guilt, too: I’m 51, and I’m worried about all that sugar and fat going straight to my hips. For this ride, though, I would be stopping for cake – because this ride was all about cake. My plan was to link together north-west England locations places famous for their cakes, stopping at each to try their eponymous specialities, forming a 215km route from Bakewell to Chorley and back.

It was not an adventure I was prepared to take on alone. I called up my old mate Chris Moores to join me. He’s strong, never rides slow, and he’s great for moral support once you run out of energy. But at little over five feet tall, he’s useless for taking shelter behind. The idea for the adventure, the spark that lit the fuse, or the candle on the cake, was Bakewell, a town just down the road from me, and worldfamous for its puddings and tarts. Which other local towns have cakes named after them, I wondered – and could I link them together to make one massive cake-themed ride?

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CakeTasters notesJersey pocket testScore
Bakewell puddingMore digestible than the namesake tart. Lighter, sweeter, gooey-er… all-round better.Just about solid enough to travel, but only just. Portability rating: 3/58
Eccles cakePastry perfection. The texture, the sugar coating, the lightness – a joy. Too much fl ake, too much sugar, would make one hell of a mess. Portability rating: 1/59
Chorley cakePastry to die for; filling sublime. So simple, so scrumptious. A near-perfect little cake. No need for plastic wrapping. Neat, fi rm and very environmentally friendly. Portability rating: 5/510
Manchester tartA delicacy befi tting any Parisian cafe, this tart deserves to be more famous. Sticky, though.Rear pocket Armageddon guaranteed. Does not travel. Portability rating: 0/510
Bakewell tartSickly sweet. Too dense, too heavy. (Disadvantaged by being our breakfast cake.) Compact and solid. Could survive quite a while before disintegrating. Portability rating: 4/57

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