The best way to describe cycling to an alien from another planet
A being from another world is visiting our planet, and of course they want to know all about cycling – but how would you concisely explain The Best Sport On Earth to them?
Here on Planet Earth we all know precisely what cycling is, but there's a chance that other beings from distant worlds may not have come across it before.
We recently asked Cycling Weekly readers to tell us how they would describe cycling to a visitor from another planet. So, suspend your disbelief for a moment and enjoy this selection of answers, brought to you in association with Decathlon.
An alien has landed from another planet. How would you describe cycling to them? Let us know in the comment box below.
I spend my time obsessively tweaking frail machines to near-perfection, then I balance on them for hours to reveal the shortcomings in both the machines and myself.
A bio-mechanical propulsion system with minimal crash protection that is despised by many petro-chemical propulsion users.
If he had to ask he wouldn't get it, just keep riding past the green dude!
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Two round things joined together with a pedestal at the top powered by the legs of a sweaty human dressed in tight clothing.
A human-powered machine designed for capturing Strava kudos. (Surely even aliens know about Strava).
It seems unlikely that they'd speak English. Not many planets have an England. I'm not entirely convinced a species capable of interstellar flight would need to be taught about cycling – the technology involved in cycling is probably somewhat simpler – but either way, it’s probably simpler to just show them than try to describe it.
Two wheels and a chain powered by physical force... 50 years ago it was a cheap means of transport, now used by many as a method of exhibiting one's peacock feathers while utilising technology trickled down from athletes.
Push your body so hard you can hardly stand up let alone walk. Sleep. Get up and do it all again for three weeks until your brain doesn’t even know what day it is... but it’s fun!
A way of travelling between two places. As easy as walking but you can travel much further and faster by using a circular motion of your legs and feet to propel a light, thin chair on two big wheels.
Don't park your saucer in the cycle lane please. And watch you don't door someone when you open the hatch.
"It's similar to pod racing..."
Find a big hill, then say "Get on and I'll push you down. You'll figure it all out by the time you get to the bottom".
The art of staying upright between two spinning discs while moving rapidly in a forward direction.
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It’s the only sporting activity where you deliberately go out to hurt yourself.
No need; cycling is a universal activity. They would just know.
Roundy roundy, leggy leggy, uppy downy, very toughy. If anyone can improve on that, suggestions are welcome.
I would ask if there is room in its UFO for Donald Trump.
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Nigel Wynn worked as associate editor on CyclingWeekly.com, he worked almost single-handedly on the Cycling Weekly website in its early days. His passion for cycling, his writing and his creativity, as well as his hard work and dedication, were the original driving force behind the website’s success. Without him, CyclingWeekly.com would certainly not exist on the size and scale that it enjoys today. Nigel sadly passed away, following a brave battle with a cancer-related illness, in 2018. He was a highly valued colleague, and more importantly, n exceptional person to work with - his presence is sorely missed.
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