By Jonny Long
It's been another week where reality has once again slipped through the fingers of the cycling world and formed a sorry-looking puddle on the floor.
For those who actually achieved something this week and didn't spend their finite time on this planet mindlessly scrolling through the digital dumpster fire of Twitter dot com, you'll have missed Thomas De Gendt (playfully) taking verbal chunks out of his Lotto-Soudal team-mates, Bradley Wiggins shirtlessly cavorting through the park, and the cosiest looking backpack dog you're ever likely to see.
Don't understand what any of those things mean? Don't worry, the internet isn't supposed to make sense.
1. Always nice to have your family cheering you on at home
Being married to a sprinter means turning the race on and thinking "ooooh yellow Jersey 3 minutes back on a mountain stage 😬" and then you slowly realise your husband is in yellow and he won't be contesting that climb. 😂 pic.twitter.com/JTJNWwP3iCMay 6, 2021
When you are in the middle of a time trial but your crush is in the audience.pic.twitter.com/Ux8bNt9L31May 8, 2021
3. Jumbo-Visma's press officer responds to Jos van Emden asking if there is a classification for the elderly at the Giro
Waar moet die heen? pic.twitter.com/opcGlygOSWMay 8, 2021
4. This is the sort of chaotic broadcasting I want to see on English-language cycling coverage
#Giro - Today's favourites according to Gigi#LFRLive pic.twitter.com/tzYDadMyOGMay 9, 2021
5. Hard to tell if Wiggo is now in a band or if he's going to rob you
A photo posted by on
6. If I speak, I'm in trouble
Brad Wiggins and Brian Smith well in the mood for today’s #giro coverage @Eurosport_UK https://t.co/UH6900SimJMay 10, 2021
7. I could watch this for hours
No need to measure CdA when we are this aero! pic.twitter.com/UUYf3UX2b2May 10, 2021
8. Get Sam Bennett on commentary duties ASAP
Watching the Giro with @Sammmy_Be Me: what are your predictions for the stage? Sam: everyone gets wet. 😑May 11, 2021
9. Officer, I'd like to report a murder
Is there still a link to the giro timelimit calculator. Asking for a friend @rogerklugeMay 13, 2021
10. Cant. Stop. Looking. At. This. Image.
I swear I thought this is from Pro Cycling Manager, not a screenshot from the race. 🙈😂 #Giro pic.twitter.com/PNQQrHofxDMay 13, 2021
We'll be back in seven day's time with more hot hot pure fuego fire alarm emoji tweets. And you can take that to the bank.
Hi. I'm Cycling Weekly's Weekend Editor. I like writing offbeat features and eating too much bread when working out on the road at bike races.
Before joining Cycling Weekly I worked at The Tab and I've also written for Vice, Time Out, and worked freelance for The Telegraph (I know, but I needed the money at the time so let me live).
I also worked for ITV Cycling between 2011-2018 on their Tour de France and Vuelta a España coverage. Sometimes I'd be helping the producers make the programme and other times I'd be getting the lunches. Just in case you were wondering - Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen had the same ham sandwich every day, it was great.