The easy questions are always the first ones. You don’t mind people asking how your ride went because it gives you the platform to reel off all the annoying things that happened to you en route.
“Yeah, it was alright thanks. Except for this crazy woman who stepped out into the road without looking, making me swerve into a massive pothole and into the back of a Range Rover. But other than that and the seven punctures I got, it was a good ride.”
Did you get wet?
The answer to this question is almost always yes, because smug people who drive to work in the warmth of their own car noticed the torrential rain and think it’s a funny question to ask.
What’s the traffic like?
Unless you live in London, you might not experience this question so much, but given that many people who work in the capital spend a lot of their commute underground they might not see the carnage that’s on the roads above them.
What bike do you ride?
Fellow riders will ask you this to establish what kind of cyclist you are, while non-riders are intrigued by people who voluntarily exert themselves before and after a hard day’s work.
While some people ride their 20-year-old mountain bikes to work purely as a mode of transport there are many others who wheel out their £4,000 Specialized every morning and undertake a strict training regime on the roads to work.
How far did you ride?
This is just a sneaky way for your colleagues to work out where you live without actually asking you. Then they’ll inwardly judge you on whether your home is in a nice area or a crime hotbed.
How do you get your clothes to work?
The perennial quandry of cycling commuters is how to get your work clothes to work without just shoving them into a bag each day. The tricky routine of washing, ironing and transporting five shirts to the office each week is not something to be sniffed at.
Then there’s the times where you forget your shoes, or your belt after you have to wear your work clothes home one evening…that’s when the problems start.
Don’t you get scared around the traffic?
No, otherwise we’d be part of the traffic. Of course, everyone has their close calls on their rides to work but we can’t let that get in the way of our fresh air and exercise.
Is there anything you always get asked as soon as you arrive in the office after a bike ride? Let us know in the comments below.