Day 14
Friday
Montpellier - Revel
The start in Montpellier was insane. The press pack had a new target after news of Michael Rasmussen's four missed out-of-competition dope tests broke. Hundreds of journalists, photographers and cameramen pushed and shoved and waited for the Dane to come out and answer some questions.
Rasmussen looked startled and his answers were not wholly encouraging. Without wishing to prejudice him, we've heard it all before. The Tour's yellow jersey began to look like a poisoned chalice or a garment fitted with extremely heavy shoulder pads to bear down on the wearer.
But this is the Tour and it's not going to change in a hurry. The riders blame the media for exposing drug-taking, the misconception being that scandal sells papers or magazines. Anyone who makes an allegation against a rider is said to have a murky motive, money or fame usually. But what about the motivation of a cheat? Huge riches follow success in professional sport. What about that motive? Oh, but of course, sportsmen always behave in a sporting manner.
Rasmussen had to be escorted to the line by a ring of policemen but at least once he crossed the start line he was guaranteed a few hours' peace and quiet.
After the circus had left town we met up with a friend of Simon's who is to drive us for a few days. He thinks he's coming on holiday. He's in for a shock.
His name is Stephen Roach so, naturally, on greeting him, Ed mimicked Phil Liggett's infamous commentary from the 1987 Tour: "It's Roche. It's Stephen Roche." Stephen Roach had the grace to laugh as if he'd never heard it before.
Simon did at least manage to buy some swimming trunks - although they looked very small, like children's swimming trunks. Now all he has to do is find half an hour's spare time and a swimming pool. My bet is that he does neither.
Revel brought the first stage of a three-day cassoulet marathon. We stayed in Revel last year and the cassoulet was every bit as good as I remembered it. For the uninitiated, cassoulet is a speciality of this region. It's basically haricot beans, with duck meat, Toulouse sausage and sometimes pork or goose meat too. It's delicious and it always leads to a disrupted night's sleep. Today was no exception.
Day 15
Saturday
Revel - Revel
Day 16
Sunday
Revel - Tarascon
There was, undeniably, a feeling of gloom after the time trial. Unfortunately, libel laws prevent me from explaining exactly why but let's just say that for anyone seeking a credible sporting event, it's a bit of a blow when three riders from the same team rock up and take three of the top four places in the time trial. Of the top 12, seven of the riders were shared by two teams. Of course it could just be because those teams have signed all the best time trial riders.
But that argument is exactly the flip side of one suggesting that all French people are rubbish at cycling. The numbers don't stand up to scrutiny. All the French riders are not rubbish, yet they routinely finish outside the top 30 in the time trials and the mountains. It simply doesn't stack up.
Anyway, as we returned from the restaurant on Saturday night we passed a bar with a karaoke set-up. Sam, Dan's girlfriend, impressed with accomplished versions of songs by Kylie Minogue and Madonna. Ed attempted Don't Stop Me Now by Queen which turned out to be a lot more difficult than he'd bargained for. The high notes gave him particular trouble and seemed to disturb the local cat community. Stephen Roach gave a sort of spoken word rendition of Don't You Want Me by Human League which wouldn't have been out of place at a lounge bar inhabited by octogenarians. The single is out on Tuesday.
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