Sometimes a picture pops up on social media that halts my scrolling thumb immediately. I’ll gawp at it for a few seconds, and if I find it funny, I’ll let out an amused puff of air through my nose. Then I’ll send it to someone else, so they too can feel the same rush of emotions.
This past week, it was a picture of Tom Pidcock that set me on that well-trodden path. Well, it wasn’t Tom Pidcock, per se. It was Tom Pidcake, a dessert incarnation of the Ineos Grenadiers rider.
It’s the same picture that, I imagine, led you to click on this article. For all the recent news stories about Pidcock, his turbulent relationship with his employer, and rumours of his future, this was the headline that grasped my attention most. It came courtesy of our friends at Cycling Plus magazine, whose designer, Georgie, had baked the homage.
The resemblance is, um, striking, in a way. This is a cake that captures a moment in time. If you were hoping that moment was the joy of winning mountain bike Olympic gold, or a stage on Alpe d’Huez, this cake is not for you. No, the moment it captures is right now.
It is the portrait, the tired visage, of a man worn down by talk about his future. The likeness, in that sense, is uncanny. There’s a desperation in the eyes, and fatigue in the black lines underneath them. It’s a delicate facial expression, one that says: “Please stop asking me about Ineos and just let me hang out with my two mini dachshunds.”
I, for one, love this cake. The world of cycling can be very serious at times, and the off season gives us a chance to let our hair down – in Pidcake’s case, hair that is tidily coiffured, and generously applied to the chin.
I am desperate to know how the cake went down in the Cycling Plus office. There are so many questions to which I need answers. What flavour was the cake? Is it life-size? What was the most sought after slice? And, perhaps most importantly, whose gateau bust can we expect to see next? Georgie, if you’re reading this, please contact me on my email below.
Elsewhere on social media this week, Mark Cavendish shows off his Gen Z lingo, Alison Jackson dons stiletto cycling shoes, and Dan Bigham receives the honour of turning on the Christmas lights.
1. Forget Colin the Caterpillar, it's Tom Pidcake time
2. Mark Cavendish has excellent rizz (did I use that right?)
3. Stiletto cycling shoes, coming to a club 10-mile near you
4. Here's Lorena Wiebes, European road champion, scratch race world champion, and chief member of the Lotte Kopecky fan club
5. This is an accurate representation of what it feels like to cycle in the UK in autumn
6. It's nice to see I'm not the only one reluctant (see: too stingy) to put the heating on
7. God save our gracious track sprinter, long live our noble track sprinter
8. These two have four Tours de France, 42 stage wins, and two snuggly blankets between them
9. I hate to break it to you all, but this is what the other café-goers think of us
10. Wondering how Blaine Hunt made the King laugh? Wonder no more
11. In their off season, cyclists like to wind down by trying to run extremely fast
12. And finally, to start getting us in the Christmas spirit, here's Dan Bigham realising a lifelong dream of turning on the Stafford lights display. Expect to see him develop some lever-pulling aero gloves for next year
