Last week I went to see Emerald Fennell's new film Saltburn, which I found ok, but slightly annoying due to its lack of a proper class criticism, but also incredibly cringeworthy. I spent most of the film with my hands over my eyes, such was the level of discomfort, as I normally do when watching cyclists dance, or do anything other than cycle. You'll see more of that below.
I think it's great that professional cyclists can go about their off-season without too much scrutiny, a nice change from the bombardment that footballers get if they stray from being a model pro for even just a second. It does mean, however, that we have to witness them doing things like dancing sometimes. And we just have to cope with that.
Fortunately, Tadej Pogačar is here to show us all how it is done - just go with it. The Slovenian was seen on a nightclub podium during a trip to Italy, and we respect him for that. IF you're going to go out out, why not go all out.
Elsewhere, in tweets of the week - which we are still calling tweets of the week, by the way, despite the rise of X, and our increasing use of Instagram posts - Cecilie Uttrup Ludwig is very keen to show us her team bus, a man cycles in a pool, and Peter Sagan crashes his mountain bike. All in a week's work of posts.
1. Now, it is important to have a front and a rear light on your bike while cycling at night. I'm not sure a lamp is quite what the rules intend, however
2. Adam Yates takes a break from cycling for his honeymoon, and goes... cycling. A busman's holiday!
3. Mathieu van der Poel's really going to stand out in his rainbow jersey for the next year, isn't he. We are wheelie lucky to have him. I know it's the same joke, I'm tired and it's Friday, ok!
4. It's getting to that time of year when you don't go cycling some days unless you really have to, and I guess being a professional cyclist means you really have to cycle. Poor Marlen Reusser!
5. I hope when I retire I get a small glass of champagne, an odd looking cake, and a sweet post on social media
6. Peter Sagan in MTB mode has not had quite as much success as Peter Sagan in road mode, but he's putting the hard yards - and knocks - into his training
7. Giving Emma Finucane a car is cheating, right, she can't do that in a velodrome, surely
8. If there was going to be a male cyclist - crucially - dancing on a podium in a club, you'd put money on Tadej Pogačar, wouldn't you
9. It's just the Slovenian's world and we're all just living in it
10. He has improved his dancing skills from last year somewhat
11. Meanwhile, Thomas De Gendt is sad to see Ridley bikes go. He looks like he has had some genuinely good times on the brand's steeds
12. His name is Ken, and his job is cobbles
13. I'm no mechanic but I'm going to say this is bad for a bike's bearings, and everything else. BUT it does look like it would actually be a good resistance workout, if you have a bike you want to throw away, and a pool. Maybe he's just practicing for next year's Tour of Britain
14. I'm not sure I've ever been as excited about anything as Cecilie Uttrup Ludwig is about the FDJ Suez team bus, but I reckon that's a good thing.
15. And finally, is it Eric Clapton? Is it Slash? No, it's Rigoberto Uran pretending to play the guitar. He needs to work on that chord work.
