Broomwagon: The satirical column that puts the bile into bicycle. Broomwagon appears at the back of Cycle Sport magazine every month.

By the time you read this, the Landis Affair (as nobody is calling it) will have taken more twists and turns than an EPO-fuelled 33-minute ascent up Alpe d’Huez (that’s a reference to the 21 hairpin bends, fact fans).

Floyd Landis didn’t so much spit in the soup as perch his backside on the edge of the bowl and relax. Charming image, we know.

The allegations are wide-ranging and extremely ugly, of course, — and far too complex for the simple mind of Broomwagon to get his low-drag head around.

Initially, some of those on the receiving end of the accusations felt they had to quickly dismiss Landis as a grudge-motivated loony.

And, considering he spent years doping, then another four years telling huge lies to the media, the people who donated their cash to the Floyd Fraud (sorry, Fairness) Fund and even under oath to some scary lawyers, they had a point. On the face of it.

But Landis’s allegations were so serious and specific they needed examination.

Well, let’s just wait and see what happens. Because if this gets brushed under the carpet all we’ll be left with is an unsightly lump in the middle of the carpet and an unavoidable foul stench.

In the meantime, here’s a list of people who have not come out of this well:

1. Everyone

2. But especially Pat McQuaid and the UCI


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