'I was doing loads of cocaine... my kids were going to put me into rehab': Bradley Wiggins on recreational drug use, Lance Armstrong's help and finding a new love for cycling

Nearly ten years on from his retirement, Sir Bradley Wiggins is a different man to the figure whose image was everywhere during the golden summer of 2012. The summer he became British cycling’s poster boy after winning the Tour de France and gold at the London Olympics. Instead of the flamboyant, outspoken figure that he once seemed to be, he now appears gentle, reflective and astonishingly open after revealing that he has spent many years living with deep personal trauma which he is still dealing with.

Among those supporting him through troubled times is Lance Armstrong, who is funding rehab for the former cyclist.

During a press event, organised by the French kit brand Ekoï, at a west London hotel last week, Wiggins explained that the still unresolved 'jiffy-gate' scandal only added to his inner anguish after calling time on his career and still affects him.

The controversy came about after an investigation into whether a package allegedly received by former Team Sky doctor Richard Freeman for Wiggins at the Critérium du Dauphiné in 2011 contained a legal decongestant, or a banned drug.

The subsequent 14-month inquiry brought few answers but left questions for all involved; including the team's then principal, Sir Dave Brailsford, who Wiggins has not heard from since he retired.

"I would love to know one way or another what actually happened," he said. "The whole story was that it was delivered to me [personally]. I was on the podium at the end of the Dauphiné, and it was made to sound like I got delivered a package."

"'Can you sign for this!'" Wiggins jokes. "But of course it was never really like that. The amount of times I then got asked 'what was in the package?' But I had absolutely no idea. F*ck knows."

A British Department for Culture Media and Sport investigation into the ethics of Team Sky's working practices followed, but the contents of the package remain unclear. Sir Dave Brailsford stated the package contained the decongestant Fluimucil which is not a banned substance. But the lack of paperwork to support this cast doubt over the claim and the team's use of Theraputic Use Exemption (TUE) forms had cast further doubt over their ethical approach to medication.

Wiggins feels that the lack of clarity from those who he says should have had the answers to the situation caused unimaginable stress for his family - including his wife at the time, Cath - and said that he felt let down by those closest to him at that point. Wiggins explained that the cut throat environment at Sky meant that those in power didn’t take accountability for their part in the debacle.

In 2023, Freeman received a four-year ban for his role in ordering banned testosterone patches that were delivered to his office at British Cycling's Manchester HQ in 2011.

Wiggins has recently finished writing a third autobiography, The Chain, which he says will cover the topic in more detail and the impact it had on him personally. "After cycling, when all that was over, it looks at what I was really going through and what I was facing."

Post-retirement, Wiggins revealed in 2022 that he had been groomed and allegedly sexually abused by his coach when he was just 13-years-old. Now, he said that dealing with the inner torment caused by the abuse throughout his career and into retirement meant that he put himself in some "very dangerous" situations, admitting that his children feared it would cost him his life after he became addicted to cocaine.

He is now 12 months sober and attends regular therapy sessions, and revealed in December that he had received an offer from Lance Armstrong to pay for his treatment in the United States, a proposal he has now accepted.

"I was doing shit loads of cocaine," he said. "I had a real problem and my kids were actually going to put me in rehab at one point, I’ve never spoken about that. I really was walking a tightrope. There were times when my son was worried I was going to end up dead in the morning. I was a functioning addict, there was no middle ground for me, I couldn’t ever have a glass of wine, as if I did, then I was buying drugs.

"My addiction was a way of easing that pain that I lived with… I'm still figuring a lot of this out but what I have got is a lot more control of myself and my triggers, I'm a lot more at peace with myself now which is a really big thing… They [Armstrong and entourage] were quite worried about me for a long time, they’d been through a similar thing with Jan [Ullrich] as well."

Recapturing a love for cycling

In an interview with Cycling Weekly last June, Wiggins said that he felt there should be a better welfare system in place for those leaving the sport. When asked about the support mechanisms in place for ex-riders again, he suggested that more could potentially be done but that it is "hard to say" what exactly that should be, explaining that he is in contact with British Cycling CEO Jon Dutton, who recently reached out to him to offer further support.

"My whole life really was there [British Cycling]," he explained. "You're under lock and key and you're not advised to go anywhere else if you've got an issue with something because of strict liability. Everything was always done for you, we had Steve Peters there too, nobody ever said anything like 'look, forget Steve Peters, forget getting a performance out of you through psychology and all of that, you're probably going to need some help' but I don’t know if that was someone else's responsibility or ours."

Moving forwards, despite admitting that he had previously felt that cycling had "taken everything away" from him, Wiggins said that he now feels there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He has learned to recapture his passion for the sport again, both personally and professionally, and recently collaborated on a new collection with Ekoï. His son, Ben, rides for elite development team Hagens Berman Jayco, and his father supports his career choice.

"I've accepted in the last 12 months that however much I try and push it away, I am a cyclist, it is my life and it will always be part of my life," Wiggins said. "I think I was causing myself more pain by trying to push it away. Every time someone sees me they go, 'oh, you're that cyclist' so it's just never going to leave me, ever."

"I hadn’t had a bike for several years and then I got a bike again and I just forgot how much I love being out on it," Wiggins continued. "Whenever I get on my bike, it reminds me of being 13 years old and how unhappy I was at 13, but my escapism was being on my bike. It's sort of given me that same feeling again now. I've always viewed it from the negative side with what came with my career, and what happened at the end of my career, whereas now I'm seeing it for what it is… Ultimately it's where I get the most pleasure, it's my sanctuary."