Why don't you just drive?
Where's the fun in that? We ride because it's cheaper, more exciting and keeps you healthy. A lot of riders also own cars, so they take an active choice to travel by two wheels.
Don't you think you look silly in Lycra?
We know we look silly! We don't wear tight clothing that shows off all the contours of our body in a pretty unflattering way because we think it looks good, we do it because everyone else does it and it makes us faster, apparently.
How much did your bike cost?
You should never ask this question because you'll probably never get an honest answer. If you're asking your partner how much they spent on their new machine it's likely you'll hear a price several hundred pounds less than what they actually paid.
Why don't you skip your training ride, just this once?
You're asking a cyclist to make a choice between spending time with you and going out on their bike... it might not end in the way you hope.
Plus, skipping one training ride is the beginning of a slippery slope that will result in the rider selling their bike and becoming very unfit.
And you don't want that on your conscience, do you?
How much does your bike weigh?
This is quite a dangerous question to ask, as you may end up talking to a cyclist obsessed with the weight of every component and you won't be able to escape for a while.
But on the whole, in the words of some Texan fella, it's not about the bike - it's about the person riding it.
Do you need to ride that far?
No-one ever needs to ride 100 miles, but we do it because we enjoy the challenge. Six hours on a bike is better than six hours on the couch.
Isn't it a bit cold for a bike ride?
It is cold, yes, but that's why I've got all this winter kit.
What do you do if it rains?
We carry on regardless...
Wet weather riding tips
My friend wants a bike, what should he/she buy?
The unanswerable question. How much do they want to spend? What will they be using it for? Do they know anything about bikes already? Do they want a good frame or a good groupset?
There's so much choice!
How much do you weigh?
It's none of your business and quite a sensitive issue for a cyclist trying to trim down!
Do you need all those gadgets?
Again, it's not a case of needing the gadgets, but how else are we going to find out the speed/cadence/average power/wind speed/gradient/heart rate on our rides?
The best apps for cyclists
Shall we store your bike in the garage?
Everyone knows that bikes need to be kept inside the house to keep them in top working order, or at least this is what we tell our partners.
Isn't it uncomfortable sitting on that saddle?
Most bike saddles weren't built for comfort, so it can get a little uncomfortable, but few riders will admit to the pain.
That's why you'll hear lots of cyclists discussing the quality of the padding in their shorts. Not that padding... get your mind out of the gutter.
Do you want another piece of cake?
The answer is always yes, even though we know we shouldn't. Therefore it's best not to ask in the first place.
Do you do triathlon?
Any questions we've missed that really grind your gears? Let us know in the comments below.
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Stuart Clarke is a News Associates trained journalist who has worked for the likes of the British Olympic Associate, British Rowing and the England and Wales Cricket Board, and of course Cycling Weekly. His work at Cycling Weekly has focused upon professional racing, following the World Tour races and its characters.
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