1. These lights that will tell you when to pack a rain jacket
The 360º visibility is useful, but you’re an adult, just look at the weather forecast.
2. This weird coconut thing that makes your bike sound like a horse
Most of the things on this list have some practical purpose. Trotify doesn’t.
3. This bell that’s as loud as a freight train
There’s no chance of not being heard with Nello
4. This Garmin mount that’s also a bell
One less thing to have on your handlebars
5. These jackets that have built in lights
Useful if it’s chilly in a club
6. This automatic lube dispenser that, er, automatically dispenses lube
For all the lazy home mechanics out there
7. This light that’s also a lock
Self-explanatory really
8. This bike lock that won’t let you ride home from the pub
Had one too many? This breathalyser lock will force you to get a cab home
9. This “smart” helmet that lets you listen to music
It also has lights and lets you answer your phone
10. This phone charger that attaches to your wheels
Never run out of juice again
11. This helmet that has indicators
You turn them on and off with buttons on your bars
12. These Rapha headphones that are made from African Hair Sheep leather
Non-vegetarian headphones
13. This rear light which looks like… well…
It really is called bike balls
14. These pedals that come with GPS
There isn’t a Speedplay version coming any time soon
15. This stationary bike that will let you get your washing done
Get two jobs done at once
16. This GPS sensor that will improve your cornering
A black box for your bike
17. This bra that will keep your hands warm
Yes, it really is called BarBra