Katie Archibald column: ‘My threshold for stress is quite low, but I’ve hit it’

To cut down on the stress in Katie Archibald's life – including a recent house move – the Olympic and world champion track cyclist has turned to creating spreadsheets

Olympic and world champion, Katie Archibald got into cycling after winning handicap races on a Highland Games grass track. She writes a column for Cycling Weekly each week

My job isn’t the kind you can complain about. I am to be happy all the time because I’ve been skiving real work for five years while my father continues to insist riding a bike isn’t a real profession.

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There’s a Mitchell and Webb sketch I think about often. A paediatric doctor, “caring for severely ill children,” comes home from work after a tough shift. He sighs and shares with his partner the day’s troubles.

He then in return asks his partner, how was his day? Well his partner had a tough day also. At his work as an ice cream taster at the ice cream factory.

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What I’m trying to tell you, by means of a metaphor derived from the television, is that tasting ice cream for a living or not, I’m stressed. We can assume my threshold for stress is quite low, but I’ve hit it.

So to combat said stress I’ve organised my life into a series of spreadsheets. It hasn’t cured me yet but I really, really believe that once I’ve got the formatting just right I’ll be on my way to feeling fantastic. Or at least further away from feeling the opposite.

It’s mildly addictive and I’m really cutting back on sleep to fit in more spreadsheet time, but you have to spend money to make money. Once I’ve finished researching sleep cycles and made a projection of my own sleep pattern transformation, then I’ll be ready to go to bed.

My house move is feeding the spreadsheet compulsion very well. I’m renting unfurnished, which seemed simple until I realised that two plus two equals four, the sky is blue, water is wet, and renting unfurnished means you have to buy a load of furniture.

I am too nervous to buy said furniture until I know where it’s going and what I’m going to put in it.

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So I’ve created an inventory of everything I own, and have decided to do a digital unpacking before I attempt the real thing.

Well, the move was two weeks ago and now I only drink UHT milk because I can’t decide which fridge to buy. But other than that, like I say, the stress-free horizon is only a few more spreadsheet tabs away.