Nick Frost could barely be more graphic about his problems after his bike ride on Monday. The Shaun of the Dead star wrote on Instagram: "My anus is ABSOLUTELY BATTERED, my Chomie is ABSOLUTELY WRECKED!!!"
It sounds pretty horrific, but we doubt he'll be the first or last new cyclist to make such a comment.
There are a myriad of things that challenge the beginner cyclist, from having an "absolutely battered anus" to the issues of nutrition and cleats, but we all have to start somewhere.
Frost began his cycling journey earlier this month. "That feeling when you just cycled 17km in 50 minutes," he posted earlier in August. "I get it’s not Tete de la peloton pace but I’m really enjoying using my bike to help my knee rehab.
"It was actually 25k as I forget to start the app at the start! Idiot. Felt so good though," he posted a fortnight ago.
In June, Frost, who also starred in Hot Fuzz, The World's End, Paul, and Spaced among many other things, had a knee replacement - "I’m in agony but I’m so happy," he wrote at the time. "I’ve suffered with arthritis for years and now that is gone!!! Can’t wait to start my recovery!"
The 52-year-old has taken up cycling to help his recovery from his knee operation, although it appears that the actor has a way to go before he is comfortable on the bike.
Comfort is often the goal when people first start out on the bike, and sadly, it can be elusive. However, bike riding shouldn't be painful, and a pair of padded shorts, a saddle that really fits, and either a DIY or professional bike fit can make a huge difference.
These items may add to the cost of entry to the activity, but when you're heading out for over an hour, your bum will really thank you, as will your "chomie".
When I first started properly cycling, which was a lot more recently than you might imagine, I was perplexed by bibshorts, but also wanted to look like the cyclists I liked on television, so tried my best. If you don't even have this grounding, though, the dress code must be even more confusing.
I remember an early ride with cleats, when I had to stop halfway up a very steep hill because it was simply too hard and then, without thinking, I attempted to clip in going straight up the vertiginous road again. You've guessed it, bam, I fell over straight away. Cue a lot of pain, and a surprising amount of blood.
All of this is to say we have all started out cycling at some point and been uncomfortable, or hurt ourselves. It's entirely natural. It doesn't have to be that way, and it doesn't last for long. All power to Frost for trying out something new, but he should do himself our favour and check out our guide to the best shorts or best chamois creams to use. It doesn't have to be that bad. No more battered anus.
Nick Frost has a new film, Get Away, coming to cinemas in the second half of 2024.
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