Suspend your disbelief for a moment and imagine that you got a call-up to join British WorldTour outfit Team Sky...
Imagine the situation. You’re just settling down for a cup of tea and a read of your favourite weekly cycling magazine when the phone rings.
Would this cause a sense of glee, panic or confusion? We recently asked Cycling Weekly readers what they would do if such an – admittedly unlikely – scenario occurred, and here’s what they said…
What would you do if you’d been offered a place on Team Sky? Let us know in the comment box below.
It’s not the two stone I’d need to lose fast… how the hell do I lose 35 years?
I’d phone Dr Steve Peters and suggest that he gets Dave to come in for a chat, because he plainly needs to see a psychiatrist.
Dave, I do wish you had rung five minutes ago. I will, with regret, have to say no as I have just signed for Team Giant, as my size is on their kit.
Get out training pretty sharpish – and as that’s where I do my best thinking, it’s then that I’ll realise just how unlikely this is: a 56-year-old being asked to join Team Sky! Not my fault I still imagine myself as 26.
Learn to ride a bike.
Try and tell the Mrs I’m getting another bike. But it’s free! She would never believe this one.
I’d ask him if he got the right guy, because he should know that I’d only be great as a descender… since I have about 20-30lbs on many of them. Gravity all the way!
Smash in the protein and carbs… Shave my head, arms, legs and chest, wax my eyebrows and make sure I’m properly hydrated.
Say thank you, hang up the phone, finish my cup of coffee and go take my morning poo. Marginal gains. I’m a member of Team Sky now.
Tell him that he must have the wrong number, unless he’s building a heavyweight team with the speed and tenacity of an aroused slug.
Cheers Dave, I’m going to have to have it in writing that Froomey is riding for me in the Tour before I put pen to paper, though.
I’d tell him: “Peter Sagan’s number is 555-2581. You’ve dialled 555-2582.”
Laugh. I’m a woman. Women don’t ride bikes, we have babies.
Ask for my payment in advance because I’ll be fired as soon as he sees me in person.
Watch: Inside Team Sky’s training camp
Cry with happiness into my breakfast, then wait for my new Pinarello to turn up.
Ask him if there is any chance he could get my Sky TV package price lowered.
Pop him on hold and then see if BMC will up the offer. Seriously, what are the hours like?
Improve my Functional Threshold Power. What a fascinating answer 🙂
Delete Dr Ferrari’s number from my phone.